lørdag 14. april 2018

Standing with slippery underpants.

It’s no fun, I can tell you that much. You KNOW your knickers aren’t falling off due to you wearing stockings over, but the sensation never the less makes one mentally grasp for one’s underwear and pull it up once more.

I guess one could argue that I don’t have phat fat a$$ or big booty. Which is perfectly fine, to be honest, as I’m rather satisfied with my small tushy already. No, I’m not going to shake it for you.

Speaking of behinds and other quarters, did you know that a friend of mine and I are doing space adventures together? In not your so average game of strategy and empire management I can safely say that I’m very glad I’ve got a whole bunch of unconditionally allied beings that can come to my emotional rescue should one of my neighbors choose to invade me (of which statistics hold a high probability, possible). Link? Sure, why not? Fair warning, it’s only at the beginning stages being out for public viewing so far, though more to come.

Why such a strange post this day? Because comic relief from a world mess is exactly what’s needed sometimes, and this certainly qualifies.

torsdag 5. april 2018

VtM:B - a story. A plane ride.

We hitch a ride on a plane from Smila Grimsson, the Prince of Iceland. I'm certain that beyond a doubt that this is to our shared bloodline, and that any other operative stuck in Russia would not experience the same curtsy.

Rhys is displeased with me, despite the mission being a success. At one time, he even arrived at my seat, sitting next to me, looking rather neutral as he casually ordered everybody out of my section of the plane. I should not fault him for doing his job. In the most English of manner he then leans forward and lower his voice, making his words for me alone.

"If you ever endanger the mission once more, I will kill you."

I neglect any form of response, as m
y thoughts are circulating our fugitive, 

Lev Parlov, our contact over the last months sits in the back, cuffed and gagged. I can smell the dark and beautiful man from my seat, and his curse of Diablerie: his black aura seems to be affecting even those close to him, be they Kine or Kindred. A master stroke, playing the underhand supplicant until he was secure in my team and my convictions - having lowered his generation by two, Prince Nikolai would offer no small a reward for his ashes. Alas, he was my mission and objective.

What I am curious about is how he was able to hide the fact until he was ready to defect.

The voice of Rhys brings be back to the present.

"You're not listening, Ravna."

I turn to him, my eyes glaring.

"You know what? I wasn't. Want to know why? Because I'm busy trying to determine the future of this region, an how I'm going to pay back Prince Nikolai for his services. Now, unless you plan to end me right here, right now, get back to your station and keep an eye on Lev for me. Can you do that, BODYGUARD?"

I mock him with intent, trying to rise his fury. Having stayed in the game this long, I know that he would adhere to his duty, even if that made it far worse for me in the long run. And I am his assigned commander for this mission until we touch ground in Denmark.

Rhys looks at me. I meet his gaze, unafraid.

"You're lucky the Prince finds you useful."

And with that, he leaves me be, sitting with my thoughts and plans.

tirsdag 6. mars 2018

Adapting to change without a revolution.

On March 6th, 1918, the Finnish Army Corps of Aviation was established as a forerunner to the Finnish Air Force, with the first plane donated by the Swedish explorer and aviator Eric von Rosen.

A hundred years later, R./Nomi signed off, with some reluctance, the first experienced and personal polyamorous experienced befit of the writer of this blog. Yet it is not a time of mourning for the readers.

Details won't be shared. French chocolate won't be handed out.

Today is a day of sorrow, regret, and acceptance, tempered with respect and serenity. No matter what else it would bring before you, remain respectfully, please. Thank you, in advance, for your courtesy.

You may not know of what I speak. You may know of what I speak.

But remember - sometimes silence and comfort prevails.

My regrets are mine, and as such my mistakes. Blame nobody else for failures that does not belong to you, nor heartaches you should not take upon yourself lightly.

Ya lublu tebya, minikin.
Jeg elsker deg, V.
I love you, my little Tori.

Until we meet again.

fredag 2. mars 2018

Cannons, cinnamon and Cicero.

What dishonor can Sweden, France and Germany share?

They were all stopped by a Pyrrhic victory, courtesy of General Frost.

If you don't know either of these terms, I'm ashamed of you and your knowledge of history.

Betterment is, after all, a process, not an achievement.

Mars is laughing at us, isn't it? And where's Venus? Hiding, I pressume - not that there's anything wrong at hiding from hideous laughter, if you're able to.

And thus, the moon take her rightful place in the sky as cannons sounds, accompanied by fluit and drum, dark tunes of victories long past, reminding of us the future and the perils of absolute power.

A solemn tombone, a haunted tuba and a rather inisting trumpet - three instruments beginning with the letter Tango (but not the dancing form, mind you) - would all but cime in another musical piece of shine and proclaim the future.

Alas, such a fate is bleak: there are no cinnamon left.

Now practice the NATO phonetic alphabet, as of 1956 and present, please - you might need it sooner rather than later.

...wait, Civero? Oh, for... just google Skyrim, would you?!

onsdag 21. februar 2018

Pride, so small a thing!

No, not that kind of Pride – just good old fashioned pride. Though, it’s easy to mistake the two (unless you’re in the know). I know. Sometimes even the simplest of phrases are confusing. Apologies for adding to that by the title.

What I am is proud. Proud of something rather silly, actually.

A Olympic participant – the person in question shares my first name and holds the last name of a Kaizer’s Orchestra song – took silver. Twice. So far. Such a curious and small thing to feel the beating of the heart of –considering that it’s on no way reflect anything on my behalf (expect putting the two halves of the given name and surname into the combination that makes me smile).

Instead of going on about how the Olympics 2018 are lining up in terms of medals and such (Damnit, I’ve just done that, haven’t I?), I’ll say that joy for the various things can come in randomness. So please, do be happy for everything that you might be able to be happy about.

Don’t worry. Be happy.

And because of a friend of mine on FB shared something I could not stop myself from doing too, I’m apparently Bellatrix Lestrange, Princess Leia, Jadzia Dax (!), Snow White, the Scarlet Witch, Melisandre, Galadriel and Michonne. Oh. My. Gods.

I really, really, REALLY shouldn’t be as happy about this as I should as it’s surely all random and by no means a measure of me personally. That doesn’t exclude me being over the top; want to slit my own throat fantastically over the hill happy about this!
(Full quote at the bottom of the page – bonus points if you get the sitcom it’s from.)

So, if you find yourself being Santa Claus on Prozac in Disney Land getting laid, don’t overthink it – just be happy, all right?

Okay, uh, what do you say I go over there and tell her how much I like her? No, no, it'll be good. I can tell her how much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment we met. That I'm so fantastically over-the-top want-to-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!

An unpleasant dream.

So, I had an unpleasant dream.

A person of my past, one whom I had largely forgotten (due to the insignificance of said person in my life), that ended up causing a situation out of nothing.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning.

In my dream, I was coming from one place and found myself in the capital, early in the morning. In my mind, I had arrived from some sort of night shift, or a travel by night. I was passing a familiar location, near a cafe, I believe, when I spotted a front desk clerk wearing the uniform belonging to the hotel chain I myself is employed by. I think it may have been the latter (a journey by the night - night train, perhaps), as I was able to pass the person taking over the morning shift.

Wanting to sleep, I entered the hotel, and spoke with the night shift watch - a pleasant female who understood my need for sleep. However, she did mention that there might be an issue with she whom was taking over the shift - she referred to my particular condition.

As if on cue, said person arrived. Something rather conservative she said made me place her from a small mountain village (it was too small to have town status), and I hinted at knowing her from before by using her name. I may have been somewhat smug about this - do keep in mind that in my dream I needed sleep.

She followed me into the room (which was located right next to the front desk) and continued asking from where she knew me. Not wanting to reveal it, I instead mentioned how good it must have been to depart from her home location. She disliked this and left.

I had just fixed the curtains when I heard her call someone from the outside (her boyfriend, I presume). Shortly after, as I was sitting down on the toilet, a man came bursting into my room, demanding that I departed the hotel at once. In a calm and non-threatening manner, I asked him to close the door so I could finish my bathroom business in private. Reluctant, he disagreed at first, but closed the door after a while, mentioning that when I left I should be wearing something else.

Around this time I woke up in a sweaty bed.

Now, based on the elements of this dream, I was logically going to ask on what authority he - a civilian dressed individual - could have in order to cast me out, and if he even was working at the hotel. If he was, and I found that unlikely, I would call my own supervisor and inform her of the happening, as well as ask for an explanation at the front desk, possible even asking for someone higher up in charge (front desk manager, or possible even the director) than she who seemed so eager to get rid of me.

What strikes me is that this is, to date, my most direct and dire example of transphobia. And for that I am grateful.

søndag 18. februar 2018

The DnD alignment test.

Turns out I’m Lawful Neutral. Which is actually a surprise as I would bet on being Neutral Good. Ah, well, the description isn’t that far off:

A lawful neutral character acts as law, tradition, or a personal code directs her. Order and organization are paramount to her. She may believe in personal order and live by a code or standard, or she may believe in order for all and favor a strong, organized government. The common phrase for lawful neutral is "true lawful." Lawful neutral is the best alignment you can be because it means you are reliable and honorable without being a zealot.

Now I’m tempted to ask for your own alignment...

onsdag 14. februar 2018

Ystävänpäivä and poems.

She bath'd with roses red, and violets blew,
And all the sweetest flowres, that in the forrest grew.

Edmund Spenser

The rose is red, the violet's blue,
The honey's sweet, and so are you.
Thou art my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine:
The lot was cast and then I drew,
And Fortune said it shou'd be you

I much prefer one rather bleak and modern version of it.

Roses are gray, violets are gray, I'm dead and colorblind.
Bonus points if you can find out where it comes from without googling it.

søndag 11. februar 2018

Motherload of love.

Is not bacon.

However, a day set aside to one of your parents is as beneficial as having a special day set aside for couples. Some might enjoy it, some might make something out of it, but I don't.


Because day by day, days zooms past us, but the days of our lives are filled with passion, and the importance of the day is not the day itself.


28 of them?

And lonely nights.

onsdag 31. januar 2018


“A supermoon is a full moon or a new moon that approximately coincides with the closest distance that the Moon reaches to Earth in its elliptic orbit, resulting in a larger-than-usual apparent size of the lunar disk as seen from Earth.” According to Wikipedia, that is.

Still, it is a rather fitting description.

You know what I dislike about the concept supermoon?

It being closer to Earth.


Let’s just say that I’ve got enough trouble sleeping during a regular full moon. Now add the additional closeness and my sleep schedule is going haywire in a full cat bag filled with random jolts of electricity and a lot of various metal pieces.

You get the picture.

It looks quite beautiful, though.

But then again, so does a lot of other things that aren’t really good for you.

onsdag 24. januar 2018

Assigned: gender.

Such a small thing, as a meme once said.
But is it? Now that is the question.
No reason to get excited – I shan’t dwindle, dawdle or dally on the topic more than setting the stage.

It’s been some time since last I wrote. It was not by design or intent – that much I can assure you. However, my silence has a reason – one that my friends across borders already are intimate familiar by this point: lack of internet. Now, you can laugh as much as you’d like for this seemingly absurd predicament, but the truth of the heart is that my machine suddenly refused to get me access to the web. All other devices remain operational, and it is simply my computer that is out of sync.

On the plus side, having a month (and the better half of the next one, too) without outside connection and communication (except for visits to the library and public computer usage as well as a few quick scopes at work) was strangely liberating once I got used to it.

I’d put it down in three stages.
-          The first being slightly frustrated with growing acceptance of the situation, marked with lack of successful (despite numerous) tries of rebooting.
-          The second was an unexpected and serene experience of Buddhist bewilderment mixed with joy of the simplistic satisfaction.
-          The third is a growing annoyance and vague sensation of apathy, tinged only with the knowledge that the end to this is coming – and soon.
Now, I don’t have a date for you just yet (don’t want to say one thing and then not being able to hold to that in this scenario), but I can promise you this: the time of reestablished connection is close at hand.

I’ve also decided to return to the larp scene this year on at least two different occasions. One involves zombies and fantasy, the other WWII and Cthulhu. I can assure you that both happenings will be as awesome as they sound – as soon as you’re able to wrap your head around the settings.

lørdag 18. november 2017

When I was a child…

…I caught a fleeting glimpse of something I didn’t quite at the time could understand.
You are now coming down in waves, I can’t explain – you would not understand.
We didn’t build this bridge to last forever and ever, merely seek out knowledge and to understand.

…I had a fever. My head just felt like a balloon. And mother comforted me and nursed me to health.
No army took my father away; he left on his own accord – the family remains in good health.
Buildings collapses as love crumbles, but not concerning my lover’s mental and physical health.

…there was so much I could no grasp or wrap my head around. It was a different time of freedom.
Friends come and go – over the years, some are left behind, while some gives you a feeling freedom.
A mere acquaintance of mine was bereft certain choices and it resulted in a lack of freedom.